It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
