So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
