i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
