dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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