i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
