Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
