How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
