fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
