Well douche your snatch and let's go!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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