hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
