As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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