Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
