Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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