sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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