There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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