I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
