Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
