Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize