yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
