Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
