The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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