so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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