i'm signing you up for texting rehab
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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