Taylor Swift is so right about you.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Someone shattered a urinal.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
