put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
