If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
