feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
