3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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