You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
lol hangovers are for mortals.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize