YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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