people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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