it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
