I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
they need to just BURY HIM!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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