dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
