so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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