just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
