I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
