Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
