Sry I called you an 8
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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