In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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