we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
