i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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