i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
