that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
