yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
