Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My life is pants optional.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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