did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
