He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize