apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
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