so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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