There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize