You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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