are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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