I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
