I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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