It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
