what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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