sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
