My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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