Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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